Broken Wings
by Ruj
Summary: Caged birds, one on Pegasus, the other on New Caprica, both by their destinies. Set in S3, now an AU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Property of Eick, Moore, Larson and whoever owns BSG.

Spoilers: Everything up to and including season 2 finale.

**WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SEASON 2 FINALE 'LAY DOWN YOUR BURDENS'. NO CONCRETE SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3, JUST RUMOURS AND SPECULATION.**

Set after LDYB's part 2.

**Broken Wings: **

**Chapter One: Caged Bird  
**

Commander Lee Adama let out an impatient sigh as he glanced at his bedside alarm, again.

6 hours,

360 minutes

Till the remaining Colonial Fleet jumped back to New Caprica to rescue those left behind. They had jumped relentlessly for a week to place enough distance between the fleet and the cylons. It was then they began brainstorming the rescue mission. Abandoning those left on New Caprica was never even entertained.

For the commander's of both Battlestar's it was personal, they had people left behind, family left behind, brother, daughter, partner, wingman, soulmate.

It took them 5 days to agree on the battle plan, 8 days to prepare and mine additional resources, and nearly 17 days of carefully planned and executed FTL jumps to get back to New Caprica.

In less than six hours, Lee knew he was about to face his toughest challenge since commanding the beast, understandably sleep was hard to come by.

The feeling of dread that had begun the day after they jumped away from New Caprica had only worsened the further they got. He knew in his gut it was Starbuck, his connection to her defied all laws. He was terrified for her; it had been over 5 weeks since the cylons landed on New Caprica, over 5 weeks since he heard her voice. It had been over a year since he saw her, touched her, and argued with her, since their friendship ended, abruptly, painfully.

She was in trouble, he _knew_ without a shadow of doubt that Starbuck was in trouble and that she needed him. If he dared to be honest with himself Starbuck _had _needed him, instinctively Lee knew they'd arrive too late, he could only hope that he was wrong, he _prayed _there'd at least be pieces for him to pick up.

After 5 weeks of gut wrenching fear, and despair he'd find out, whether or not _she_ survived, his viper and soul mate.

_Tick_

_Tick _

_Tick_

_In less than 6 hours he'd know._

_**000000**_

The plan was best described as 'ordered chaos', the Battlestars would provide aerial support and cover, protecting the fleet and engaging the basestars. The remaining civilian ships would be nestled between the battlestars and New Caprica, whilst Raptors evacuated the colonials from the settlement with Vipers providing artillery support and protection from the flanks. Once the last colonials boarded the Raptors, all civilian ships and raptors would jump to predetermined rendezvous coordinates as the vipers landed on the Galactica, as Pegasus covered their exit. Then they would both jump to the prearranged coordinates.

Simple

In theory

Lee realised a major flaw in the plan 3 hours into the attack, he had no way knowing if _she _was safe. Evacuation priority was given to former colonial warriors, as they were re-drafted into immediate service. Engineer, technicians, pilots and officers literally jumped straight back to work, helping in the fight against the cylons. So far he hadn't heard that Starbuck was back in the fight, he held back the feeling that she wouldn't be able to.

It was only as he gave the order for viper's to complete their combat landings and started the FTL jump clock that he let himself wonder how Helo's covert mission went. And how did they gain, and how many did they lose? He hoped the former was high and the latter bearable.

He'd find out in

FTL Jump in…

3

2

1

"JUMP!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**1 hour earlier, New Caprica**_

Helo and his team ran quickly and quietly through the cylon base camp on New Caprica. Sharon had given them details and plans of the base highlighting its areas of structural vulnerability. She had also told them the most likely areas the cylons would hold any prisoners. Helo's orders were to destroy any data on the colonials, search for survivors and/or prisoners and finally to obliterate the base.

So far Helo had completed his first objective and had place explosives around the base, he was making his way to where Sharon had predicted any prisoners would be held.

What he found would forever haunt him, the broken and bloody image of his best friend hanging from a beam.

Helo froze at the horrifying sight, behind him Racetrack and Gunny did the same.

"_Oh Lords, what did those frakkers do to her?" _Helo heard Racetrack whisper in a sickened tone.

Helo just swore, every expletive he knew was voiced as he made his way to what was left of his best friend. He could hear shallow breaths, and he knew she had at least cracked if not broken one or more ribs, amongst her countless other visible wounds.

"Help me get her down" he said to the others. He motioned for Gunny to hold onto Kara's legs, whilst he lifted Racetrack, so that she could reach the ceiling to untie her from the beam.

Racetrack paled as she saw Starbuck up close, her face was relatively undamaged with only a swollen jaw, broken nose and multiple lacerations, her blonde hair had grown out well past her shoulders, and was a sickening shade of red, blood red. But it when she reached for Starbuck's hand on the beams that Racetrack lost all colour in her face and began to shake violently.

"_Oh Gods, Hera help me, Lords! Helo let me down quick, please let me down, now!"_

Helo quickly complied Racetrack's voice was shaken to the core.

As soon as Margaret's feet hit the ground she ran to the corner of the room and threw up her entire stomach's contents. She kept heaving and shaking, trying to expel the tremors that were running through her body. Tears were streaming down her face as she kept muttering _"Oh Lords" _over and over.

"Racetrack what-?" Helo questioned as he and Gunny made their way to the shaken Raptor ECO.

"Gunny don't move!" she yelled, "Keep her steady, for the love of the gods, keep hold of her."

Gunny quickly moved back into place, Racetrack's tone allowing him no other choice.

Racetrack looked at them both and then holding Helo's eyes, "The frakking toasters _nailed _her to the beam." Her tone equal parts disgust, anger, fury and revulsion.

Gunny shook his head, still holding his precious cargo tenderly he let out a vicious stream of profanity.

Helo's expression had darkened, and Racetrack took an unconscious step back at the fury in his normally jovial eyes.

"Can you get her down? I want to get her out of here then blow this frak hole to Tartarus and back." Helo's tone was glacial, and his face hard.

Racetrack nodded, face equally determined and said "I will."

Starbuck barely reacted to their presence, other than to scream when Racetrack finally managed to pull the nails out. After which she kept falling in and out of consciousness, mumbling deliriously.

The trio worked quickly and silently after that with Kara held gently over Gunny's shoulder as Helo led the way out, and Racetrack covering their rear. They all understood the need for speed as they made the way out of the complex, they didn't breathe freely until Racetrack launched the Raptor and Helo detonated the charges remotely, as he signalled Galactica that mission had been completed and that were jumping directly to the rendezvous coordinates.

They were the final Raptor leaving New Caprica, as they passed the planet's atmosphere they saw the vipers make their combat landings, they set their FTL drive.

3

2

1

JUMP.

**Author's note: I know I know, I've started ANOTHER BSG fic, I'm sorry, really, my muse forced me to, I had no choice. To be honest I wanted to write this story ever since I saw the finale, so I did. To the 'Who Are We?' fans I know I should update it soon, and i have started the 6th chapter, unfortunately ffnet had some technical difficulties just after i posted chapter 5 and as result I couldn't get any feedback, I do have one small request, if you have read Who Are We could you please email, PM or review the chapter to let me know if I should actually write 'smut' or not, I would really like some objective comments on that aspect of my work, so I know which avenue to continue in. The next chapter of 'Who Are We' should be up by the end of the month...hopefully, muse allowing it'll be up. (fingers crossed).**

**On a side note, hope you like 'Broken Wings', darker than I usually go, but then the show isn't exactly renown for its fluffiness. Let me know your thoughts and opinions.  
**

**Thanks,**

**Inara **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry about the delay, I know I said I'd update ALL my fics by the end of the month, and instead I started this fic and wrote 3 chapters in one go. I've actually had this chapter written for a while but I was unable to post it. Because unfortunately my laptop has been declared officially DEAD. Can we please observe a moment's silence, it served me well and faithfully but in the end itwas horrifically outsmarted and defeated by viruses' that were smarter than me! Anyway combine a lack of internet at home, internet policies at work and starting a new job, equals my poor excuses for not updating. Thanks to all those who reviewed and placed the story on alerts, glad to hear people also like my dark pieces as well as my fluff. **

**Special thanks to my faithful reviewers Lea, Tracy and DGainey, you guys rock andyour commentsalways make my day, Melpomene blue, Ellen and Lynda thanks for taking the time to review and here's the 2nd chapter just for you guys.**

**Broken Wings **

**Chapter Two: Death of an Icon**

Lee paced, back and forth, the raptor was only 4 steps in length, pacing was the only thing stopping him from grabbing the pilot and flying the raptor himself, he entertained the thought for a few seconds before discarding it, they were nearly there. Back to 'the Bucket', he wondered how **_she'd _**look, would she still be angry, had the cylons hurt her? His mind had been running through all the possible scenarios ever since his father had requested his immediate presence. The call had come within minutes of jumping away from New Caprica; he knew it could only be about Kara.

He tensed as he felt the raptor shift as it landed on the Galactica, finally he'd be able to see her, touch her, apologise to her, he didn't care what the Gods asked of him, along as he had _his_ Kara back.

As the raptor doors opened, all Lee could see was chaos on the flight deck, masses of people, pilots, mechanics, all were working fast on the birds in case they needed to launch again in a hurry. As Lee stepped off the raptor, he searched the crowd for familiar faces, he saw his old pilots from his CAG days, as many of them had gone down to settle on New Caprica, although many of them smiled at him when they first saw him, each face hadpaled and tensed soon after, as if they had just remembered exactly who he was. Lee's feeling of dread intensified, his throat constricted in fear. For an irrational moment he had the desire to run back to the Pegasus, suddenly the Galactica was the last place he wanted to be.

When Lee finally found his father, he was hugging Ellen Tigh whilst he held on to Laura Roslin tightly with one hand, as if he was afraid she would disappear. His father, Tigh, Ellen, Laura, Tyrol and Cally and baby Drew were all there, as he made his way over he couldn't make out the rest of the group, but they all turned to him as he arrived. He warmly greeted everyone, even Ellen, he had missed these people, and the Beast was a lonely ship.

Once Lee had finished greeting everyone he looked at his father, his question not needing to be voiced.

"Lee-" It wasn't his father's voice but rather the tired croak of Tigh that had Lee swinging his gaze to the former XO.

"Son-" he continued.

Tigh's tone, along with everyone's concerned and apprehensive expressions simultaneously scared and angered Lee. As Tyrol placed a comforting hand on Lee's shoulder, he decided to settle on anger.

"NO! She's not dead, I'd know…she's not-" he broke off unable to continue.

"We don't know Lee, we just don't know" Laura added.

"She was taken by the cylons on the second day of the occupation, we don't know where or why they were so interested in Thrace, but they got her, we haven't seen or heard from her in weeks." Tigh explained his tone filled anger and self disgust. "There was nothing we could do, or else her sacrifice would have been in vain."

"Sacrifice?" This time it was the Admiral's voice questioning, all he had time to find out was that Kara had been taken by the cylons 5 weeks earlier, he still didn't know the details.

"I'd gone into labour," Callyexplained,"4 hours into the occupation, by the time Drew was born; the cylons had begun gathering all the women and girls. I had just asked Captain Thrace to be Godmother to Drew when the toasters arrived to take us; Captain Thrace was holding Drew at the time. We couldn't put up much of a fight, with the Captain holding the baby and I was weak from childbirth, but it was when we saw all the other women of a child bearing age that Captain Thrace seem to understand what was happening, I have never seen Starbuck look like that before,so pale and her eyes, I have never seen that much pain or fury in a person's eyes before. The men tried to fight, but there were just too many toasters." Cally broke off crying, as she held her son tightly to her.

Once she had composed herself she continued, "Then all of a sudden Captain Thrace yelled to the toasters to get 'Simon', she just stood there, in the middle of the camp surrounded by metallic toasters, screaming for 'Simon' whoever he was. When Simon arrived, Captain Thrace gave Drew to me and told Simon that she would go peacefully and willingly with him, if they left the other women and children alone."

"What! Why would they agree to that?" Adama asked.

"I don't know sir, but he agreed to it immediately. Then she kissed Drew on the head, whispered to me and left with the cylons before I could register what had happened."

Lee had remained silent as he heard about Kara's sacrifice, it would be something that she would do, and then he asked "what did she whisper to you?"

"She said, don't worry he'll come for me, and to name the Commander Drew's Godfather" Cally said whilst staring at the floor.

Lee didn't know what to think, he'd left her behind again; he had let her down again. She had counted on him to rescue her, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kara had meant him and not Anders, Kara had needed him and his heart broke at the thought that he wasn't there.

It was then that Gaeta, Dee and Samuel Anders came up to the group, Lee barely paid any attention to the conversation.

"Huh? Sorry what did you say?" Lee asked Gaeta, who apparently had slipped back into his former role with ease.

"The final raptor, has just jumped back Commander, it was Helo's, he's requested a line to Galactica actual, and medics to the flight deck." Gaeta repeated for Lee's sake.

Dee had outfitted William Adama with a headset as she arranged the connection with the raptor.

"Raptor 427 this is Galactica Actual, report"

"Actual this is Helo, mission accomplished."

"Congratulations Captain, come on home"

"Understood sir, we are enroute ETA 5 minutes, Admiral I need a med team waiting I have an officer in critical condition." Helo replied.

"Understood, Cottle and his team are ready and waiting. Who is your injured officer?" Adama asked.

"It's Starbuck, sir." Helo replied his voice revealing nothing of his internal anguish.

"Did you just say Starbuck?" a very shocked William asked as he held his son's gaze.

Lee stopped breathing, they were talking about Kara, but he didn't know what was being said, overriding all protocol, Lee disengaged the headset his father was using and transferred the call to the flight deck speakers, at least now he could hear.

"That's affirmative Admiral, we found Starbuck in the cylon base camp, retrieved her then completed the plan as ordered, we would have been back soon but our FTL drive need re-spinning. Starbuck is in serious condition sir, that med team needs to be ready and waiting. Racetrack's just confirmed, Galactica has us, we should be there in 30 seconds, Helo out."

The room was in silence as they saw the raptor being escorted into the deck, Cottle and his team waiting at the side lines with their equipment and stretcher, the pilots had all stopped their work, unable to believe that Starbuck had survived, and was coming back, all of them having a connection to their former CAG and flight instructor, even the rookies knew of her reputation.

The entire room's breath had frozen as the raptor doors opened.

**XOXOXO**

**30 minutes earlier, Raptor 427.**

JUMP!

"Jump failed, damn it! Captain I need you up here, we need to re-spin the FTL drive." Racetrack yelled to Helo.

They worked quickly and efficiently as they tried to jump back to the fleet, whilst Kara was mumbling in the background, her voice rising and falling, as she dropped in and out of consciousness.

It was only after they confirmed the second jump and the colonial codes that Racetrack allowed herself to ask.

"Hey, Gunny, what is she saying, I can't make it out."

Gunny looked at her as he tried to help Starbuck with their rudimentary first aid kit, "she just keeps saying the same word over and over again."

"What?"

"Lee, she just keeps asking for Lee." Gunny replied seriously.

It was hearing Lee's name that drew Kara out of her pain filled fantasies.

Her mind was scrambled, all she could feel was pain, but all she could think was Lee, he was her constant companion, in her dreams and her heart. Whenever the pain became too much she would retreat in to her dreamworld, at least there they could be together, be happy. Something thather reality did not offer. She vaguely knew that there were people around her, but it was only as she was being placed on some kind of moving bed did she struggle, she didn't even register the familiar sight of the Galactica flight deck. Her mind travelling back to the cylons, correlating gurneys with only pain and torture, as they had now placed her hands in restraints she did the only thing she could think of as she fought back. She screamed for Lee, he would save her, he would come."

**XOXOXO**

**Chapter 3 has already been written, jut waiting on comments to see if I need to make any adjustments or alterations. So let me know what you thought of this chapter.**

**Thanks,**

**Inara:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN's: Wow thanks for all the lovely reviews, I've never had such a fast and positive response before, so I would really like the opportunity to say a heartfelt thanks, RL sucks rightnow! England were just knocked out! Bloody penalities, every single time! (Sorry football related rant over!).**

**So Thanks to:**

**Michelle: Thanks for thewonderful comments, where were you on ch1? Only kidding, thanks for the glowing words, made me smile, on an otherwisecrappy day,**

**gibgirl4: Thanks for the wicked comments, you don't need to get a life at all, regarding the Kara/Lee smut, this story may or may not include smut, but if it does it won't be 'fluffy' and it may not be for awhile, I'll probably lead up to it, Kara and Lee have a lot to work through.**

**Melpomene blue: Painful in what regard? I hope you mean in context of the story/plot/characters and not my grammar/style. Hope this chapter still keeps you intrigued.**

**lunar: Thanks for taking the time to read and make a comment, it is very much appreciated.**

**Romeo: Thanks for the hint on typos, some are probably mine, but sometimes uploads chapters weird, if I ever get time and access I'll try to change the mistakes. Here's another chapter, and it's still sad.**

**Dgainey: I sooo love you! You're comments are always so insightful and thoughtful, and you always pick up on the ethos of my work/piece. You're right for me this fic primarily focus' on Lee/Kara's friendship, about always being there or saving each other regardless, they're about making mistakes but always forgiving each other. but they rarely forgive themselves. Here's the next chapter, let me know what you think.**

**Claire: Nice concise review, here's a concise reply: Chapter 3 for you, ps: Thanks for the review.**

**Etilia: Thanks for your amazing words of kindness, I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.**

**Rabbit: Thanks, and here's what you asked for chapter 3.**

**Amylee: Wow my 1st french review, unfortunately my French is not 'bien' at all, I got the 1st line all by myself, and got my sister (who is fluent) to translate the rest, so here's the following chapter, and 'merci beaucoup pour la review.'**

**Starbuck042786: You missed it!How could you! (falls to the floor in despair) just kidding, thanks for pointing out the quotation mark,I totally missed it! Ha atleast someone was reading (unlike the lazy author). Here's chapter 3 hope you like.**

**Broken Wings**

**Chapter Three: Artemis broken; Apollo's fury**

Lee had roughly pushed passed anybody in his way, as he made his way over to the raptor, his mind registered vaguely that the others had accompanied him and that Anders was just behind him. But as he caught his first glimpse of Kara he froze, causing Anders to run into his back. All he could see was red, gods she was painted in red, her once grey tanks and shorts were now sickening shades of scarlet and maroon. Her hair, now longer than he ever remembered was no longer recognisable as blonde.

He could see Cottle and his team transfer her to a gurney as the Doc yelled for various things, trying to treat her, but Starbuck was fighting, he could see her body lashing out instinctively fighting to protect herself, he could hear her moan in pain as well. He watched helplessly frozen in shock as the medic's put the gurney on the floor, unable to treat her as she rocked the gurney in her attempts to get free, blindly fighting.

Belatedly Lee realised that she wasn't moaning in pain, that she was calling for him. It just ricocheted around his mind her pain filled voice begging for him.

"_Lee, Lee, Lee"_

His name on her lips jumpstarted his brain and he made his way over to her. He forcibly pulled away the medics near her and immediately covered her body with his, holding her in place. With tears in his eyes he held her face next to his and began speaking to her, reassuring her.

"It's okay Kara, it's okay, I've got you, it's Lee, hold on Kara, come on Kara relax for me, you're home, you're safe on the Galactica, I'm here Kara, Apollo's got you, stand down Starbuck you're safe." Lee barely realised what he was saying he just used his body and voice to calm her down, soothing her with his tone.

The room had broken out in shocked gasps and exclamations of disbelief when they first caught sight of Starbuck's state. She looked broken, a shattered version of a once strong woman. They all witnessed her fighting the medics, like a wild animal unable to tell friend from foe.

Admiral William Adama had seen many horrific scenes in his life, but witnessing this broken version of Kara, his daughter was too much. He couldn't look at her bloody and broken body being worked on by the medics so he transferred his gaze to his other child. He knew Lee and Kara were close, he had even expected them to get together eventually, but he had long ago given that dream up.

Even knowing the strength of their connection he was expecting to see a reaction from his eldest son, but nothing could have prepared him for the expression on Lee's face, he looked broken, shattered, destroyed, soulless, William anticipated those emotions and had hardened his heart for them, but it was the burning fury that was pouring from his son that had him stepping back. He had never been a religious man, but for a moment he could have swore he saw the God Apollo's image transposed over Lee's.

William observed with the rest of the room as Starbuck's struggles caused the medical team to place the gurney on the floor. It was then Lee moved, he watched as Lee roughly pushed aside the medics trying to calm Starbuck. He was in awe with the rest of the audience as they witnessed Apollo use his body to hold her down, and then he began to speak to her. They all heard him call to her, to tell her she was safe, that she home, that he had her. Adama's eyes weren't the only eyes to tear as they witnessed this heartbreaking scene from two very private individuals.

There was an unspoken sense of relief as they saw Starbuck react to Apollo's presence and begin to relax as she stopped fighting. The minute her body had relaxed Cottle had injected her with a sedative. Cottle and his team began to raise the gurney but Apollo just picked her up in his arms and made his way out of the flight deck to sick bay as the rest of the room watched helplessly. Until finally broken out of his stupor Cottle motioned for his team to follow Apollo and they quickly left for the sickbay.

**XOXOXO**

Samuel T. Anders followed close on the heels of Lee Adama, impatient to finally see his wife, he had spent the last 5 weeks looking for her, worried about her, he knew he couldn't let her stay with the cylons, he remembered her previous stay with the cylons back on Caprica, and how she still bore the scars, physical and emotional. But he couldn't find her, weeks of struggling; fighting, despairing and now he'd finally get to see her. He couldn't wait, and as a result he didn't notice when Apollo stopped in front of him and promptly ran into the other man's back.

Then he saw her, gods she was a mess. He wouldn't have recognised her if he didn't know that she was the only critically injured person on that raptor. She looked battered; he was used to seeing her in some state of physical healing. The first time he had ever met her she still bore the bruises from her fight at the museum. But never had he'd seen her wounded to this extent. It was inhumane and looked unbearably painful; he didn't know how she survived, where she had gotten the strength from. Kara's strength and resilience had always amazed him, never more than at this moment.

It was Cally's message that Kara knew he would come for her, that had kept him fighting the last 5 weeks, knowing that Kara was relying on him to rescue her as he did over a year ago on Caprica. It was only as he remained immobile, frozen by his thoughts that he finally realised that Lee Adama had made his way to Kara and moved to restrain her. He took a step forward, afraid that he would hurt Kara in her fragile state, but again froze as his mind registered what Apollo was actually saying to _his wife._

And as he watched Kara relax and calm down in Lee's presence did he for the first time in 5 weeks question if Kara had actually meant him in her message. He had a sinking feeling that she was referring to Lee Adama. And damn if his heartdidn't just shatter as he watched helplessly as Lee Adama strode out the room with Kara, _his wife, _in his arms.

**XOXOXO**

Lee was back to pacing, only this time it was the sickbay's waiting area. It was on his 27th circuit that his father, Tigh, Roslin, Ellen, Cally with Drew and Anders entered.

It was as Anders entered that Lee found a target for all of his anger and rage at Kara's state. Seeing Anders, Kara's husband, the man who was supposed to watch over and protect Kara, the man she had chosen over him, the man he had entrusted with her care, he was standing there, safe and sound.

Lee felt wrath and rage like never before, he had the irrational urge to hurt Anders until he bled, to break him till he was as broken as Kara had looked. When their eyes met Lee could hold his fury back no longer, his patience had snapped as he witnessed concern for Kara in the other man's gaze. He had no right, as far as Apollo was concerned Sam should have stopped it from happening. Deep down Lee was probably projecting some of his own guilt for not being there, for not protecting Kara on to the other man, but he didn't care. He needed to hit something, to make someone bleed. And Anders was the perfect target.

Lee pushed the man violently against the wall and held his sidearm against Anders head. Lee purposely ignored the shouts and orders from the people around, his focus solely on the man in front of him, the man who failed to keep Kara safe.

The room collectively sighed in relief as Lee dropped the gun, only to wince and exclaim in dejection as he punched the former pro Pyramid player instead. Lee managed to get quite a few hard knocks in before Helo and Gunny managed to drag him off.

Helo, Racetrack and Gunny were just approaching sickbay when they heard the shouts, they ran to where the sound was originating to find the Commander of the Pegasus beating Starbuck's husband senseless. Anders had managed to get some hits in but was completely outclassed as Apollo had the superior position and unsurpassed rage. Apollo's lashed out as he was dragged of Anders and managed to knock the other man out.

**XOXOXO**

Anders however, lay forgotten as Cottle came out, puffing on his ever present cigar, he raised his eyebrow in open amusement at the scene he interrupted, but Lee stopped struggling as soon as he caught sight of the doc.

Normally Doc Cottle would respect his patient's privacy, in this case he made an exception, and they had all seen her injuries. "She's got 4 broken ribs, 3 cracked,both her legs were broken over 4 weeks ago, she's also got a broken nose, cracked orbit, cracked jaw, her fingers were broken in 8 places, she has deep lacerations in her back from a lash or whip, internal bruising all over the damn place, a fractured skull, some sub dural bleeding…" He broke off unable to say the worst.

Helo sensed that Cottle hadn't finished, suddenly he understood, he had heard from the Chief how Kara had ended up with the cylons, he also remembered the cylon's fascination with Kara on Caprica, and how she got the second scar on her stomach. He prayed he was wrong but he knew that the cylons had done more than beat her up.

"They operated on her again, didn't they" He asked Cottle already aware of the answer.

Cottle just nodded but narrowed his eyes when Helo said 'again'. He wasn't the only one to pick up on Helo's slip.

"Again" Tigh asked.

"What do you mean again?" Adama asked his tone hard and unforgiving.

"Her second scar" Lee said quietly looking at Helo for confirmation.

Cottle stopped the debate by continuing in his list of diagnosis, "Yes, they opened her up, I don't know exactly what they did this time, I won't until I go in for myself; she's being prepped for surgery right now. Do you know what they did the first time?" Cottle asked Helo.

"No, neither did she, she managed to escape the facility before they could do more. We never knew what they did." Helo said, frustrated at being unable to help.

"Well I just came to let you know what I had found out, we're about to operate, its going to be a while, over 8 hours, there's a lot to fix, they messed her up good, frakkin' toasters." And with that he turned and went back into the infirmary.

**XOXOXO**

**11 hours 45 minutes later, Galactica Infirmary.**

An exhausted Cottle came out of surgery, swiping his hat off and ripping his gloves off.

"She's stable, her pain medication has counteracted the pain, but at these levels, they've knocked her out completely. She'll be out of it for awhile; we lost her 5 times during the surgery but she's stubborn, the girl held on, she's a fighter."

Before Cottle could let them know anything else a shout came for him from one of the nurses.

"Doctor Cottle! She's awake!"

All of sudden Cottle was pushed aside as Apollo forced his way past, as the other's followed.

Cottle just looked around the now empty waiting room, and snorted "typical Starbuck" and made his way back to his most demanding and tenacious patient, privately in awe that she was awake, he had never met anyone stronger than that little firecracker, he had never dreaded anything as much as he did telling this woman, who had fought so hard, in her past and now in the present, so she could have a future;exactly whatthe cylons had done to her.

He knew about her abusive past, how could he not, her x-rays painted a detailed picture. He didn't want to be the one to tell this stubborn and passionate woman that he knew what thefrakking toastershad done to her, had taken from her, that she would never, ever be able to have children, that the cylons had taken any potential for motherhood away when they removed **_all_** of her ovaries. And by the gods did he _not_ want to know what the cylons had done with them.

He shook his head clear of the morose thoughts and chuckled as he lit his cigar in celebration, they had won this round at least, they had been saved from New Caprica and the cylon occupation and more importantly…

Starbuck was awake.

**XOXOXO**

**AN: Thanks to the incredibly fast response, to this story, so in gratitude, chapter 3. I hopeyou all enjoy. Regarding my otherfics, I thoughtI had savedmy work on to a memory stick, so did not.ButI have written most of chapter 6 of 'who are we', so hopefully not too long. **

**Letme know whatyou thought of this installment.**

**Inara:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Shattered Realities**

Kara felt confused, delirious, restrained, she could feel reality just outside of her grasp, teasing her into awareness, and it was irritating her beyond belief. She just wanted to go back to sleep, she was tired, tired of the constant torture, mental, physical, psychological and emotional, but she wouldn't give up, _couldn't_ give up, it wasn't in her. But she desperately wanted to go back to sleep, back to her safe haven, back to Lee.

'Lee'

She remembered hearing him, that wasn't actually new, she heard him all the time, baiting her, teasing her, comforting her, just keeping her company, she knew it was a bad sign her hallucinating so completely but she didn't care, Lee helped, he was familiar and gave her a goal, a target, she had to either wait for him to come, and he would, regardless how badly they had left things, Lee _would _come. Or she had to get away her self, either way she needed to fix things with Lee, it couldn't end like that, not without Apollo and Starbuck together again.

So she fought, everyday she fought, some days she forgot who _she_ was, where she was, or even why she was being tortured, but regardless of her own mental state, Kara knew the name Lee, it brought her comfort, it brought her strength. So she was used to hearing his voice, it was the only thing she focused on since she sacrificed herself to the cylons.

But she wasn't used to feeling Lee, her apparitions had always been non-corporeal it had been one of her biggest regrets, but she could still feel Lee on her body, her nerves were hyper-sensitive, as were her senses, and as a result she could still smell him, the essence of Lee. It terrified her like nothing before, had her hallucinations progressed to such a state that she could _smell_ him?

A small part of her latched on to it, believed, because if Lee was there, then it meant her plan worked, she survived until he could get to her. And he came, granted it took longer than even she expected but that was something she could ride him about later. If he was real, if all of this was real…'time to find out' she told herself, and opened her eyes gradually, praying with everything she had left that she was right, that she was home, with Lee.

All she saw was white, and silver, the silver scared her; she thought she was back with the toasters, until she heard a familiar beeping, a heartbeat, _her_ heartbeat. Recognition came a beat later, infirmary, Galactica. She couldn't stop the tears of relief that fell from her eyes, at familiar sight or the fact for the first time in gods knows how long she was in a relatively comfortable position. Not that her back was comfortable, she vaguely recalled being lashed, but so many of the 'torture' sessions bled together that she had difficulty separating actual events. It was as she began to rustle around in her futile attempt to get comfortable that she roused the nurses on duty. The next thing she knew one of the nurses was helping her move as the other ran out of the room.

Then he was there. He had frozen just inside the room but she could see him clearly. Clearer than anything she had ever seen in her life, and time had not been kind to him either, he looked exhausted, shattered, _broken. _Was the word she was searching for, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that _this _Lee was real; he looked real, tired, human, and slightly overweight? She blinked, yep had to be real, her fantasy Lee had always been the picture of perfection and…svelte.

XOXOXO 

Lee just stared, drinking in the sight of her, even battered beyond belief she was a sight for sore eyes, it had been so long since he could just stare at her, even now in more pain than he could imagine she was still restless, Starbuck could never lie still. Their staring match was broken by the entry of the others, it was okay, he didn't mind sharing, he little choice as he had no plans for moving, not for a long time. He had the view of his dreams; he watched as his family greeted her, nobody hid their joy at her return, or their tears. All of a sudden Drew was thrust in Lee's arms as his mother launched herself at Starbuck, suddenly remembering at the last minute the state Starbuck was in and restrained herself, barely.

The next thing Lee knew Tyrol had pushed him forward and he heard Cally say "Starbuck, meet your godson Drew, Drew meet your Aunt Kara."

**XOXOXO**

It had been a crazy few hours, people had been in and out, doctors, nurses, pilots, mechanics, civilians, command staff, and all while Lee stood by the door, and just stared at Kara. His stance and gaze hadn't changed in hours, not when Sam came and he witnessed their reunion. Actually Kara hadn't_ said _anything. Not a single word, she just cried, or nodded, to show that she understood them, but she hadn't actually said a single word since her pain filled exclamations in Hanger Deck.

Sam had been the last person to leave, as Cottle told them all to get out and let Starbuck rest. Sam had asked Kara if she wanted him to stay but she just shook her head, and with a kiss to her forehead, he left, whilst giving Lee an inscrutable look on his way out. Doc Cottle had been about to escort him too, but was silenced by deadly look from Lee, with a huff and a muttering about 'just like old times' the grouchy doc took his leave and shut the door.

They just stared at one another, for the next 10 minutes, they spoke through their eyes, just reassuring themselves with the presence of the other. That they could actually see the other. Until Starbuck broke the silence and said the first thing since her surgery, and in typical Starbuck fashion she broke his heart with her vulnerability, she was all Kara when she spoke, hesitantly it came out like a broken whisper, and he knew he could break her entirely with his answer, he didn't think anyone had ever had this amount of complete power over Kara or Starbuck before, not her mother, his father, Zak, Sam or even the cylons. With a single word he could destroy her fragile word, and all the time he had her shattered voice in his mind repeating her question.

"_Are you real?"_

Her eyes filled as the silence grew, but the tears only fell as for the first time in hours Lee moved from his post, his eyes never leaving hers as he moved over her, mated his forehead with hers and breathed his answer to her, so she not only heard him, but felt him too.

"_Yes"_

Somehow he knew what she needed, it was what he needed too, physical reassurance that he was there. He didn't know how it had happened one minute he was hovering over her the next he was on the bed cradling her whilst she held on a tight as her body allowed. It had been too long since they had any type of prolonged contact, for the first time in over a year Apollo breathed easy. He knew that that the hard part was still to come but she was here, alive the rest they would deal with as it came.

**XOXOXO**

Kara had dozed off whilst holding onto Lee, resting her head ironically over the spot where she had accidentally shot him well over a year ago, one of the spectacular moments of their friendship, but as Lee held on to the lightly sleeping Kara he got to see up close some of the damage the cylons had done. From what he had overheard the broken leg was actually healing, something about the position she was found in meant there wasn't actually any strain on her leg, he made a mental note to ask Helo, what position didn't involve any leg strain? The next biggest injuries from a pilot's perspective were her hands, but with Kara's history he knew her fingers would more than likely heal back into position. But the palm of her hands were a different matter, it looked like something sharp had been stabbed through the palm of both hands. He didn't know how those injuries would affect her flying, because if there was one thing he knew, it was that Starbuck belonged in the air, he knew her recuperation would be a lot easier once she was flight capable.

Kara shifted in her sleep, and began to mumble. Lee moved her so she was more comfortable and tried to make out what she was saying, maybe she was experiencing a nightmare? He froze at his name; it wasn't said in fear or anger. Both of which he had grown used to hearing from her, but there was an lightness to her voice, a teasing and longing quality that couldn't remember when he heard last.

"_Lee, I swear the baby takes after you, he doesn't let me sleep, Lee please its your turn, I'd do anything if you'd make your son stop crying and let his momma sleep, please Lee"_

'Oh Gods' Lee's heart broke into a thousand pieces, he never thought he could be in so much pain, it bought tears to his eyes, she was dreaming of him, of them together, with a family. Something which they had both always said they had never wanted but had always secretly desired with each other. Their baby, a son, Lee had never wished for anything as he did in that moment for her dream to be true. But he carried on listening to her fantasy, with his eyes closed so he could be there with her, with their son.

"_What! Lee, I know I said I'd do anything, but 4 more kids, Apollo are you high, look at how much trouble this one is…"_

Lee smiled; yeah he could imagine negotiating how many kids with Kara.

"_Aaw come on Lee, that's not fair, I can't say no when you do that, Lee, okay, okay maybe 2 more, but that's it. But only if you promise to keep doing that for the rest of our lives."_

Lee's smile broadened even in her fantasy, he won, that was rare, but what he wouldn't give to make it reality. His internal musings were cut short as Kara's breathing changed, so did her tone, gone was womanly Kara, now she sounded frightened.

"_Please, Lee, don't go, I'm only safe when you're here, please when you leave that's when they hurt…oh gods. How many times have I told you frakkin toasters I don't give a crap about your God, or destiny, leave me the frak alone. No…NO! Don't touch me you frakkers! Oh Lords, Apollo make it stop, where the frak are you!"_

Lee didn't think it was possible to feel so many different emotions in one seconds, but gone was the bittersweet glow from thinking about the kids he and Kara would never have and with each word coming out of her mouth, the more horrified he grew. It all began to connect; as she spoke his mind drew a terrifying picture of what she went through. It was obvious that she used her dream world to escape into when the toaster's hurt her, but the absolute worst was her begging _him _to make it stop, she was relying on him, and he failed her. If it hadn't have been for Helo and his team, he knew he should have listened to his instincts, but he hadn't and Starbuck had paid the price.

Doc Cottle and a nurse came in a administered a sedative to help calm Kara after her nightmare, and Lee decided it was time to talk to Helo, he needed to know what he saw, so he knew exactly how bad he had screwed up, as well as finding a way to help Starbuck, he knew in his gut that this nightmare was the first of many, and they were likely to get worse. He needed to start making plans, after all Kara had already lived the nightmare, she didn't need to start reliving it. He needed to find a way to get Starbuck back, and then maybe they could find somehow become Apollo and Starbuck again. He needed that; they needed that, because Lee and Kara were broken.

**XOXOXO**

**Authors Note: Sorry for the delay in updating , I do apologise, there has been a conspiracy to keep me from writing, computer virus', new job, new car, muse went on holiday, its a conspiracy I tell you! Anyway thank you all for the amazing feedback on chapter 3, it kept me going in an otherwise shitty month. So here are some more personal thanks, please continue to let me know what you all think of this chapter.**

**Inara.**

Thanks go to:

**Rabbit: hope you liked this chapter as much, thanks for the review.**

**Amylee: Thanks for reviewing, don't worry about your english its great, feel free to review in french if you're more comfortable, as I can read basic french, and my sister is fluent in the language too.**

**Dgainey: Oh I adore reading your comments Dgainey, they are always helpful and kind. You seem to have a knack on picking up the central/pivotal scenes in my work and understanding my intent in their portrayal, so thank you. With regards to Anders, I agree, I really like the character but I always felt sorry for him, he had no idea what he was getting into. Plus he has never seen Apollo and Starbuck together, or how powerful they are, and how much they need each other. So hopefully I'll be exploring that angle soon. I have over 2000 word written for chapter 6 of 'Who Are We?' so expect an update within a week-I hope!**

**Melpomene blue: Sorry about the computer glitch, as you know I sympathise, about Anders, most of the Anders portrayed in this fic, has been from Lee's view, which is incredibly biased, I will get more into Anders later, once he sees how Lee and Kara interact. So rest assured he won't e the bad guy, only bad guys are the cylons and Lee and Kara as they have a tendancy to self destruct. Dee, I can't quite decide what to do with her, I liked her before she got with Lee and Billy died, its like they completely changed her character, and I don't particularly like the new Dee, now in my story Lee and Dee broke up in the missing year. But I don't know how much of a factor she will have, I have less symapthy for her as she knew that Apollo/Starbuck had a connection, so she knew what she was getting into, as opposed to Anders, poor guy had no idea. Thanks for the review. Hope that answers your questions.**

**Gibgirl: Thanks for your lovely comments, hope you liked chapter 4, let me know what you think.**

**Spookywanluke: Totally agree angry Lee is scary, like quiet Kara, they do it so rarely its freaky when they do. This fic is going to have a LOT of angry Lee, be warned. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Etilia: Wow thanks for the lovely words, hope you liked chapter 4, let me know.**

**Tracy: Hope the kids are well, thanks for the review, you're right about Anders, he's totally biased, because it has mostly been from Lee's point of view, you'll get more from him later. Chapter 6 of 'Who Are We?' is nearly done, so not too long. Love your epsilong series, very cool, my request is to have 'Young' expanded, sorry can't remember what number it was. Thanks. **

**Romeo: Wow, don't ask the easy questions do you? Sorry about the delay in updating, but RL has been a pain, see excuses in AN above. The story should be between 8-12 chapters long, I know how and where it's ending I just need to choose the path. Thanks for your comments.**

**Silwyna: Thanks for the lovely comments, this chapter was more introspective than the others, but I wanted to get a feel for where the characters were emotionally before they try to deal with what has happened. Hope you liked, let me know.**


	5. Chapter 5

_It's been a while to say the least, I know and I apologise profusely, I realise that 4 and half months have passed since I last updated, so lets go straight to the story. (cause it's been so long, you may benefit by re-reading chapters 1-4, they're not too long, just to remember where we left off.)_

_Author's note follows at the end._

_Inara._

**Broken Wings**

**Chapter Five****: Truth Hurts **

Lee finally found Helo in the gym, furiously pounding his rage out on to the heavy bag, and judging by the bloodied state of his unprotected hands he had been working out awhile. Apollo automatically held the bag his sapphire gaze fixed on the larger man, who held all the answers.

Helo couldn't meet Apollo's gaze; he had gotten closer to the former CAG during their lonely stay over New Caprica and had reached an understanding, both relying on each other when their best friend had left the fleet.

He knew better than most what Starbuck meant to Apollo, more importantly he knew what Kara meant to Lee and vice versa. He had never encountered a more fated pair. It didn't matter what name or label their relationship carried; Helo knew that they would always be paired, be connected.

Helo watched for five weeks as his best friend came close to breaking the further they jumped away from New Caprica, the further they got from Kara. Helo expected Lee shatter, but something changed.

He never found out what caused the shift but Lee Adama transformed and they began to witness his determination and focus in fighting the cylons, day and night he was relentless if not in CIC planning, then he was training nuggets in advanced combat, he also worked hard in getting himself back in shape.

Helo carried on ignoring Lee and continued pouring his frustration out on to the bag. He would forget, he was going to wipe the scene of Kara nailed to the beams from his mind. He wouldn't revisit it, not even for Apollo, especially not for Lee. But Helo knew it was why the other man was there, and silent.

…he couldn't tell him…

…he couldn't talk about it…

…if only he could stop his mind from running through the scene over and over again.

In the end Helo capitulated, he should have known better, nobody can deny Apollo, not when it concerns Starbuck.

**XOXOXO**

Samuel Anders wanted answers; he had been politely dismissed from life-station, apparently visiting hours applied to civilian husbands. But Anders took the opportunity to hunt down Helo, he knew that Helo had rescued Kara and Sam wanted, no he needed to know…everything.

The former pyramid player tracked the XO to the gym, intent on getting all the information he could about his wife. However he didn't plan on confronting Helo in front of witnesses, especially not Commander Lee Adama.

He was about to turn around and leave unnoticed when the former raptor ECO's voice stopped him in his tracks. It wasn't so much the words as it was the utter desolation with which they were spoken.

**XOXOXO**

"We were too late, I was too gods-damns late, and she suffered for it."

The quiet words travelled through the room, and clenched each man's heart.

Apollo stayed silent, understanding that the other man would not deny him, however painful.

"As you know our objective was simple, sneak into the Cylon base whilst the main battle was going on, wipe all their data on us, and if time search for and rescue any colonial prisoners. I never thought that it would be Starbuck; I didn't think that there was prison that could hold her unless it was of her own making. I knew that the Cylons were interested in her, so did she, but I never imagined they would go so far…"

"…you know me and Starbuck go back years, I've seen her at her best, worst, battered and bruised and exultant after victory. I've also been lucky enough to see Kara, when she lets me but Apollo the woman I found…Lords it wasn't even a woman but the shell of one."

"Helo…" Lee didn't know what to say, he wanted answers, but for the first time began to doubt whether or not the knowledge would help, or if it would actually hinder.

"Gods, Lee I think they actually broke her, and that terrifies me, more than anything. Because if they did, then it doesn't matter that we saved her from that place. What we rescued wasn't Starbuck and it's not Kara, I'm scared we've lost her for good…because we were too gods-damned late."

* * *

"That's why I need to know Helo, I can't help her if I don't know what happened, and some of the things that she said in her sleep have worried. The Starbuck I know would never let her guard down, she would never allow herself to be so exposed, even in her sleep." Lee pleaded his case. 

"I didn't even recognise her at first. I was on point, clearing the way ahead, but I froze on seeing her. There was so much red, like she had bathed in it. I couldn't see her face clearly because of the position she was in-"

"Position?" Apollo queried.

Helo met the other man's eyes for the first time since they began the painful conversation; he knew he couldn't hide this.

"The frakkers had her hanging from her hands on a beam in the middle of a room, but that wasn't the worst of it." Helo shook his head to stop Lee from interrupting he needed to get this out.

"As soon as we realised it was Starbuck, Gunny grabbed her legs to take the strain off her arms, and I raised Racetrack onto my shoulders so she could untie Starbuck and we could leave. But Racetrack found out that the mother frakkers had actually _nailed _her to the beam. So Racetrack had to pull the nails out, which woke Starbuck up a bit and then we hauled ass out of there and blew the place to Tartarus and back."

Helo found it easier if thought about Kara as Starbuck, it was Starbuck the fearless colonial warrior that was tortured, not Kara Thrace who had lived through more pain than anyone should have to. He dropped his gaze from Apollo's; the pain and fury in the other man's eyes was too personal to witness.

Even Anders saw the dichotomy in every fibre of the Commander, part sickened and guilt ridden in being unable to save her and equally the man barely restrained the sheer rage and anger that was coursing through his veins, the very essence that made him a warrior, the part of him that was truly Apollo.

**XOXOXO**

Samuel T Anders was not a stupid man, nor was he blind to the changes he saw in Kara when he first joined the fleet. The destruction of the colonies had changed him from a carefree pyramid player, to being the leader of the only resistance on his home planet.

He was insanely attracted to Kara Thrace, the ball busting colonial warrior, he thought he had seen her strength on Caprica, the way she fought and lead them to safety. He always knew she was a viper pilot, had done from the start. He thought it was similar to when he was a pro pyramid player, a job, a role she filled, one that she loved but was still just her job.

He didn't realise what it meant to be a colonial warrior especially after the destruction of the colonies. But Kara was a warrior, viper pilot to the bone, it wasn't her job, it was who she was in the depths of soul. He only realised how little he actually knew about his wife after they left the fleet and he witnessed first hand how much it hurt her to clip her wings. She never complained but every day he witnessed a little piece of her die.

Kara's love of flying and the military Anders could understand and before the cylon occupation of New Caprica he had been trying to broach the subject of her rejoining the fleet. However it was the hidden part of Kara he couldn't reconcile himself with. Her mysterious connection to the Adama's, why had she never told him that the military leader of humanities remains thought of her as his only daughter, and her connection to Lee Adama was inexplicable.

When they had returned to the fleet he had no idea what he was getting into, he had been playing military, and know he was faced with the real thing. His girlfriend was a hot shot pilot, the fleets saviour and in charge of Galactica's Vipers. But it was Commander Lee Adama that confused him the most, he hadn't heard much about the man. He first met him as Lee, Kara's friend, and he immediately felt like he was intruding.

It took him a week to realise Lee, was Lee Adama son of Admiral Adama, and Commander of the Battlestar Pegasus. It was nearly a month till he realised that Lee Adama was also Apollo. Even though he didn't fly, his flights were legendary and still talked about on both ships, especially his flights with Starbuck.

They were rumoured to be so in sync in the air that they didn't need to communicate, and there was nobody more deadly than Apollo when Starbuck was in danger and vice versa. He had never cared about the rumours, Kara was with him and that was all that he needed to know. By the time he began to suspect that he had entered into an already complicated relationship it was too late, he was in love.

Anders realised that he was finally seeing what everybody had seen since the anhilation of the colonies; Apollo going to Starbuck's rescue.

**XOXOXO**

* * *

**Comments from the author:**

_First of all let me apologise again for the long delay in the update of this story. To be honest there were alot of factors involved,_

_1) My laptop literally died, which meant it had to be rebuilt, essentially taking it out of commission._

_2) Around the same time as I had posted this story, I also updated my Stargate Atlantis fic Duty or Love? Which received an unanticipated increase in popularity, which in turn turned my focus on that piece. I didn't forget Broken but to be truly honest there was a significantly larger audience to Duty, so Broken Wings suffered as a result._

_3) Real Life seriously began to impede, and I found myself in the mood to read fics as opposed to writing them and I didn't have the time to properly invest in this storyline as it is most definitely NOT fluff._

_4) I was seriously ill for a month, which took me and my brain out of commission._

_5) I had planned to return to this story and Duty over the christmas period, and had even promised a fan (pbarker) that I would have an update by New Years at the latest. But unfortunately my Grandmother passed away Christmas Eve, which prevented me from writing anything as I was not in the right frame of mind._

_Regarding 'Who Are We?' my other Lee/Kara piece, I know I said I had over 2000 words written, unfortunately they were deleted when my laptop got rebuilt, hence the lack of update on that piece, I thought I had a saved copy on another PC but that computer was donated so again I can't get access right, I will try time permitting. But unfortnately due to my hectic and unpredictable schedule my focus will be on the more popular stories as guilt tends to be a large motivator for me._

_So again I am incredibly sorry for taking so long in updating, I understand the frustration when there is a story you are following hits an unexpected hiatus. Thanks to everybody still reading for their patience and kind words of encouragement throughout the last 4 months, it has honestly meant alot._

_Yours, _

_Inara_

**Review and Personal Messages Replies**

_I noticed a common theme in nearly all reviews, it seems that eveybody loved the 'eye frakking' as gibgirl termed it! lol. It just seemed like a Lee/Kara thing, still not saying what needs to be said when they finally get the chance!_

**_Thanks again to the following:_**

**Dgainey2003: **_I think I love you, seriously. You have been with this storyline since the beginning. Your kind words and support always pick me up and I find myself looking forward to your comments after each chapter. You always manage to zero on moments and themes that find central. Thanks for your continued support, sorry for making you wait so long._

**BSGaddict: **_Thanks for taking the time to review, I adore your work so it means alot. Lee and Kara angst will be the next chapter._

**gibgirl4:**_ Another person who has followed this story from the beginning, glad you liked the bittersweet dream, look out for Kara being tormented by the future she can no longer have._

**The Midnight Lover: **_Thanks for the great comments, this chapter was more Lee, the next chapter for Kara_

**Amylee: **_Merci Beaucoup!_

**Romeoharvey: **_Real Life became a bh! So sorry again for the 4 month wait._

**Starbuck042786: **_Hard to read??? Why? it was so fluffy? Only kidding this chapter was kinda hard on Anders as I felt the character never had the chance to see Lee/Kara interact or the best elements of their friendship. His plot arc is about that. _

**Silwyna: **_Watch out for Kara's dreams to have a continued effect on both her and Lee, and not necessarily the nightmares!_

**Halcyon Implusion: **_Less physical pain in this chapter, more second hand emotional trauma for the three men. Pain for Kara in the next chapter._

**Pilotlover: **_Thanks for your comments Marilyn, Anders definitely didn't have it easy in this chapter, he'll still be involved but he'll have to get past Apollo!_

**Naomi: **_Thanks for the review, hope this chapter pleases._

**Taff: **_Thanks for your awesome comments, this chapter was about the men, its Kara's turn next, her recovery won't be easy._

**Maevenly: **_Thanks for reading and reviewing I absolutely love your work, unfortunately I haven't had the time to review but you get better with every piece and they are all so powerful and unique. You can get of the tenterhooks now..._

**Pbarker: **_Thanks again for the gorgeous comments, sorry again for the delay. Hope you received my more personal response._

_Life permitting I should have semi regular updates from now on, Thanks again,_

_Inara.x._


	6. Chapter 6

**A special thanks to Maevenly and Jamy21 who beta'd this chapter, you will all notice a marked improvement in grammar thanks to them. Author notes and replies to reviews follow the chapter as usual.**

**Broken Wings**

**Chapter Six: Only when I sleep…**

_**SNAP!**_

"_Come on Captain! Keep that back straight and show those frakking toasters who they're dealing with! A couple of lashes won't break Starbuck!"_

The cylon model number 6 paused in her stride when the blonde viper pilot began giggling in the middle of their torture session. It wasn't the first time it had happened yet it was still disconcerting every time she did it.

This was not supposed to happen, they had gone way past the known threshold on the human pain levels, yet she still didn't break. It didn't matter what they did, she just took it.

They had already harvested what they needed from her, now it was about retribution; it was about fun. They had used all five forms of torture: hot, cold, sharp, blunt and loud. They had tried sensory deprivation, but they found that using drugs was the most effective form. Hallucinogens were the ones that gave the best reactions; the irony was not lost on the cylons that the only thing capable of breaking Kara Thrace was her own mind.

But who knew whipping could be so much _fun,_ Six thought to her self as she continued her assault.

_**SNAP!**_

"_Come on Captain! Keep that back straight and show those frakking toasters who they're dealing with! A couple of lashes won't break Starbuck!"_

Kara couldn't stop the giggle from her mouth, typical Apollo, back straight! Her back was in shreds for fraks sake! She was glad he was there imaginary or not she almost forgot what she fighting for who she was fighting for.

The Kara Thrace that had been buried deep in the Starbuck persona she kept for the cylons began to worry, she began to doubt whether or not Apollo would find her, or even worse if he was even looking. She always taunted Lee over the fact that he was so slow sometimes, never noticed when a woman was coming on to him, or having to view every angle before making a decision, it was always his weakness she never dreamed that she would pay for it.

She laughed internally at her thought; even after everything that had happened, after she worked so hard to rip Lee out of her life by marrying Sam and leaving the fleet. Only to realise that in the end she had actually buried him so deep within her heart, soul and spirit that when the cylons began breaking, stripping away her walls one by one that the only thing left was Lee and her connection to Apollo.

The gods, she realised, had a twisted sense of humour. Who would have thought that if you stripped away all of Starbucks barriers, you'd find her greatest and truest strength…if only he wasn't so damn slow!

Her hysterical laughter echoed off the walls until a vicious smack to the face and shot of hallucinogenic knocked her out.

_**SNAP!**_

**XOXOXO**

Kara groaned as the nurses changed the IV and wiped the sweat from her fever away. She tried to fight the drugs in her system, but in the end she lost. With her body too busy healing from the surgery she had nothing left to combat the drugs.

With a tiny moan Kara Thrace fell back into the nightmares that unfortunately happened to plague her for the last 4 months. She did what she always did when the nightmares came; she retreated into a world of her making.

**XOXOXO**

Kara awoke to the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Her half naked husband was lying next to her in bed with their newborn son lying on his chest.

The sapphire blue eyes that trapped her gaze were identical to the baby blues that her son had obviously inherited. Her breath froze, the love and adoration that was in his gaze stilled her heart. She never thought that anybody could love her so completely, she never thought she would meet anybody who she would give all of herself to, but then she met Lee.

A man that the gods created for her, the only man she had let in completely and utterly and the only man she would give anything up for, evening flying. Although the being pregnant part made up for being grounded.

She still smiled every time she remembered telling the old man that he was going to be a grandfather.

"_Starbuck! What do you hear?"_

"_The pitter patter of tiny Adama feet in 7 months, sir!"_

The look was priceless, almost identical to Lee's when she had told him the unexpected news.

"APOLLO!"

Lee froze in the middle of the class he was speaking to as a guest lecturer. He and Kara had just returned from their honeymoon, when they had been asked, actually instructed to talk to the graduating class about their legendary flights.

Kara hadn't felt well that morning and after throwing up her breakfast Lee insisted that she go to the Infirmary on campus and get checked out, while he did the lecture.

He had seen Kara pissed before, he had seen Starbuck pissed before; he had also seen the misfortune of seeing his wife pissed at him before. But he had never seen all three pissed at the same time before.

She was yelling and cursing his name as she strode towards him through the centre aisle of the main auditorium of the fleet academy which incidentally was packed in anticipation of hearing the great Apollo and Starbuck speak about their flights. Based on the unadulterated fury on her face she was definitely pissed at him.

_Oh lords of Kobol, hear my prayer…_

Lee prayed as he frantically thought about what he could have done to piss her off to unprecedented heights.

"Apollo, you toaster frakking, son of a…how could you! I should have known! If anyone would beat the frakking odds it would be you! This is your fault! I'm grounded because of you! Me! Starbuck grounded! As in NOT FLYING! How could you knock me up! You bastard!" Starbuck finished her thunderous tirade with an explosive right hook that laid out her confused husband.

Lee was trying hard to suppress his arousal at his wife's fury, she was glowing in anger, it was an amazing sight. Slowly his mind began to catch up with what she was shouting at him as she reached the lectern, he had just registered 'grounded' when her infamous right hook sent him crashing to the ground.

Kara didn't register the gasp of audience, she was focussed on her husband, she saw his hurt and confusion at her punch and then she saw understanding cross his beautiful face as her words finally penetrated his mind.

'Knocked up?' Oh gods she was pregnant, they were having a baby!

His smile was a bright as the sun, as he rushed up and grabbed his wife and spun her around in delight, as their shared joy and happiness was heard by all.

**XOXOXO**

Kara could still hear their laughter; it was one of her fondest memories.

_**SNAP!**_

As the laughter faded, Kara lost the scene, lost Lee. And then she knew what was coming, what was always coming, pain always followed the small pleasure she had in her life, it was the truest constant in her life since birth.

This time she remembered them breaking her legs, then her ribs; by the time she relived the nails being hammered into and through her hands, her throat was raw from screaming.

She wanted Lee, she needed Lee, Apollo would make it stop, he had to…

Her back arched from the bed as she screamed for Lee, unable to tell dream from memory from reality. Her yells echoed through life station.

**XOXOXO**

Lee shot awake a second before the call came out.

"Commander Adama to life station, repeat paging Commander Adama to life station."

He was running to Life station, his body automatically taking him the path he had been taking for the last 2 months.

Starbuck's recovery hadn't been easy, they had to reset bones, and she had been restrained so she couldn't further damage her abused body. Out of everything her body had actually been healing the best.

It had been 8 weeks since Helo had rescued her from New Caprica. According to Cottle, in a week or so she could physically resume light duties, and barring any further complications physically she could fly in 6-8 weeks.

It was a massive relief as they were all concerned whether of she would even survive let alone fly again. If only the mind would heal as easily as the body; as it was she was still experiencing regular nightmares that even sedatives could not keep at bay, so Cottle's last resort was to hope moving forward and getting in to a routine may help.

Apollo had moved back on to Galactica, as his father refused to move Kara. As Kara was most familiar with the Galactica and all of her friends and family were on the boat, it seemed prudent to keep her on the bucket. But it was the fact that Cottle was on Galactica that cinched it. He didn't trust her care to another physician.

So Lee took a leave of absence, left the Pegasus to his XO, and moved back to Galactica. He still helped out in command, with the pilots and even the flight deck. But most of his time was with Kara.

In the eight weeks Kara had been in the infirmary, he had been emergency paged at least twice a week, as he was the only one who could effectively calm her down.

He normally slept on a cot in the life station to be closer if needed, in fact he was only sleeping further away because Kara was due to be released the next day, so he had been getting their quarters ready.

When he finally reached Kara's side he saw the familiar scene of semi-conscious Kara fighting and screaming against phantom captors.

Once he had finally got Kara relaxed he thought back to the tension filled meeting that had occurred that morning when had finally won his case to be Kara's primary carer.

_**XOXOXO**_

_Earlier that day, Admiral Adama's office:_

"Absolutely not! She's fine now, you've all seen her, she's acting like she was before the cylons…" Samuel Anders voice was determined and filled with undisguised anger.

"_Acting_ being the operative word, you can't even tell when she's faking it…can you?" Lee retorted; he had seen the act Starbuck put on for everyone else, even the Doc and his father had believed her. Only Helo, Sharon and he knew the truth.

"I am her husband; I'll take care of her," he said, referring to Kara.

"Like you did on New Caprica?" Lee didn't hide his scorn.

"Lee!" Reprimanded both Adama and Roslin

Lee looked unrepentant.

"Why are we even having this discussion, Kara will stay with me…her husband." Sam aimed his words at Lee.

Sam had spent the last eight weeks watching Lee Adama 'take care' of Kara, and as a result could only spend limited time with Kara. What hurt most was that he couldn't argue with Apollo's next statement. As much as it galled him to admit it, he was right.

"I am the only one that can calm her down, she trusts me!" Lee appealed to his father.

"Doc, what's your opinion?" Admiral asked Kara's primary physician.

"The Commander ain't wrong, he is the best at bringing Thrace out of her nightmares, and she responds to him the most."

Adama looked at the others in the room, Roslin nodded in agreement as did Helo.

"Alright then, it's been decided Kara will stay with Lee-"

"You can't do that she's married to me, which is a fact you all seem to have forgotten!" Anders anger was palpable.

"We are well aware of that Sam; this is a temporary measure just until Starbuck is steadier. After that if Kara decides she wants to move in with you, nobody will stop the two of you." Adama tried to placate the obviously hurt man, who wasn't at fault, but found himself in an unfortunate position.

"If?" Anders questioned.

"My apologies I meant when." Adama was sincere, but gave Lee a glare when he opened his mouth. He knew his son was about to say something hurtful.

Lee shut his mouth. He got what he wanted so there was no need to complicate matters.

**XOXOXO**

Kara awoke the next day in Lee's arms, an occurrence that was becoming all too frequent. Physically she had improved enough to be released from the life station; all that remained were the scars, both physical and emotional.

"Morning," Lee said with a yawn, stretching his muscles to get rid of the kinks.

Startled Kara just stared at him; sometimes she still couldn't believe he was real. The sight of him waking up next to her was so eerily familiar from her dream world that she felt a physical pang when she realised that there wouldn't be a baby in this picture…ever.

"So Starbuck, ready to go home?" Lee asked her, nudging her out of her melancholy.

She could help the tear that slipped out; maybe just maybe some parts of her fantasy could be made real.

With a small but genuine smile she said,

"Take me home Lee."

**XOXOXO**

You know how this works, replies and thanks to:

**Dgainey2003: **_I don't know what to say? You know I love you right! (lol) I hope this chapter pleases. Good news I found chapter 6 of Who Are We? So that should be up when I have reread the story to familiarise myself with it again and once I've polished the draft. So not too long to wait, if you have any helpful comments regarding Who Are We, please, please PM me as I value your insight._

**gibgirl4: **_Thank you for your heartfelt words, I was determined to get this chapter out, I hope it doesn't disappoint. I know Ander's is slightly off at the end but bear in mind he has had to watch his wife be comforted by someone else. It stings and resentment builds especially between Lee and Anders._

**hp/hg: **_Thanks for commenting, have you just found this piece? Here's a fast update, this chapter and the next deal with the repercussions of Kara's torture after that we will start on rehabilitation._

**AlexandriaLee: **_Here's relatively fast update especially compared to the delay between ch 4 and 5. Hope you enjoy._

**BSGaddict: **_Another chapter to feel sorry for Anders, he really is in an unfortunate situation, however he did marry Kara and we know she is always complicated. So it won't be easy for him. Hope this chapter reflects that._

**LJ: **_I hope this chapter also pleasantly surprised you, let me know what you thought._

**Maevenly: **_THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-(Argh you get the message) chapter 7 will be more about rehabilitation so the scenes you describe will be forthcoming._

**Jamy21: **_THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-(Again thank you for valuable input) your desire for retribution will be met...but first both Lee and Kara have to deal with their time apart._

**kathgrr: **_I made you cry! I'm so sorry, if you like fluff try my short piece CAG's Girl- apparently it's quite funny! Also my other BSG WIP 'Who Are We' which is a mixture of fluff, pranks, drama, action, smut, angst and also has an AU preseries backstory between Lee and Kara-check em out (plus I'm updating Who Are We soon). But if you like to cry then keep reading Lee and Kara aren't done hurting!_

**Silwyna: **_Thank you for your heartfelt comments and unwavering support, I'm lucky writing is an outlet for me and so many readers have been patiently waiting for all my stories that I always love to write for them, also rush of reviews always brightens my day. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Thanks again._

**Senorita-DLH: **_Again thanks for the supportive comments, and for having me in your thoughts, I had you in mine as I wrote (as I did all my reviewers). Hope this update pleases you. Thank you for your kindness._

**CrazyLikeaFox: **_Thank you for your review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know._

**_Thanks again to everybody still with the piece, if there are any fans of my other BSG WIP 'Who Are We?' I found the 6th chapter so i'll be updating soon. Keep an eye out!_**

**_Sincerly thank you to everyone who sent condolences messages regading my grandmother, it meant the world._**

**_Yours _**

**_Inara.xxx._**


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